Uncon-Lent-ional.

Hi, friends!

forte-online — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 02:24:18 -0500

Embarrassing story:

In travelling back and forth between my college home and my home home multiple times this month, I lost the list I’d made of the 40 things to give up. List is currently being reconstructed; posts will resume shortly.

With love,

Breezy

3.25.12: Video

forte-online — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:11:59 -0500

I am subscribed to 21 channels on YouTube. I have 194 movies in my Netflix queue. There are 17 shows in my favorites on Hulu.

If those numbers didn’t get my point across, the point is this: I spend a lot of every day watching things.

In the play I’m working on writing, the main character, Anna Douglas, says at one point that she doesn’t watch movies. Her boyfriend, James, asks her why not— and she says this: “I don’t see the point in sitting in a dark room for two hours and watching other people do things when I could be spending those two hours actually doing things.”

I will say straight off that I don’t agree with Anna on this. Sure, I think I watch too much TV and too many movies (thus why I gave them up for a day). But I think that movies and TV also hold a lot of merit. They can be just as intellectual, humorous, moving, thought-provoking or emotional as novels, and everyone agrees there’s merit to reading.

For some reason, people seem to have an easier time applying these positive adjectives to movies than to television.

Why is TV often see as a “lesser” or “dumber” form of art than literature? Is it because it’s newer? Is it because so much of it really is terrible? There are as many bad chick-lit books as there are bad chick flicks on film. There are many more crime thrillers in print than on TV. And yet people hear “TV” and think “Dancing with the Stars” or “Jersey Shore” or “Desperate Housewives” or some other guilty-pleasure, mind-numbing show— instead of jumping to “Mad Men,” “30 Rock,” or “Modern Family.”

Tl;dr? Television can be incredibly smart, witty and entertaining, and I’m keeping it a part of my life. I may cut back on the number of shows I watch (I’m thinking “Fashion Star” and “Glee” aren’t super necessary to my existence), but I’ll still always enjoy unwinding from a stressful day with a little Amy Poehler, Zooey Deschanel or Tina Fey… and a nice bottle of cranberry wine.

And that’s how Sue “C”s it.

^^ One of the smartest people on television.

3.24.12: Caffeine

forte-online — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:49:38 -0500

I usually start my day with coffee. If something major is happening that day (like an On Night at the newspaper, a paper coming due, a job interview, an event where I have to be super personable, etc.), there will be another cup of coffee. If someone invites me out to get coffee and catch up, there will be another cup. I usually try to make two cups a day my max, but sometimes those cups are very tall… and may actually be Starbucks DoubleShots.

So on Sunday, I decided to try going caffeine-less. I made some interesting discoveries.

One) Me sans caffeine is like most people at two a.m.— blurry around the edges, groggy, more prone to slips of the tongue, and less likely to be able to make sentences or spell correctly.

Two) I sleep a loooot more when I don’t have coffee. Three naps, each an hour long. Yikes.

Three) I can only single-task. Usually I need to be doing at least two things at once, usually more. When I don’t have coffee, I can handle focusing on only one thing.

Four) When I’m very excited about something, such as brunch with a dear friend, a Farmers’ Market, or shopping for clothes, I can be motivated and functional. However, it only last for a few hours… and then I just want to watch TV and do nothing ever again.

It fascinates me how much caffeine affects my levels of motivation and/or apathy. Clearly, I’ll need a lot of caffeine this week, since I’m working on job applications. Also clearly… I am addicted to caffeine. I know “addiction” is a scary word, but it’s not anything illegal (like cocaine or pot), it’s not known to cause cancer (like cigarettes), and it’s not illegal to drive after drinking it (like alcohol)… so is being addicted to it something I really need to get over? If coffee makes me happier, more productive, more excited about life, and more energetic— do I really need to give it up just because of the stigma of being “addicted” to something?

Things to ponder, I guess. G’night, tumblrverse!

Breezy

I know, shameless friend-fishing. But I really like seeing what...

forte-online — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:54:47 -0500

I know, shameless friend-fishing. But I really like seeing what cool people post, and I know I have more friends on tumblr than I realize… so I’m just hashtagging this with all the best ways to find me, and hopefully I can connect with many of the darlingest people in the world! Can’t wait to follow all your awesome text-posts, photos, gifs and more! :D Muah!

Breezy

3.23.12: Self-deprecating comments

forte-online — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 14:02:52 -0500

As you can see by the above screenshot of my Facebook, one of my favorite things to do is make jokes at my own expense. When I announced to my FB friends that I was going to try giving up 40 things that are part of my daily life for one day each, my friend Em suggested I give up self-deprecating comments. Because she’s been a darling friend of mine for three years now, I decided I’d try it. As the FB photo above shows, I failed pretty miserably.

Self-deprecating humor runs in my family, and one of my dad’s favorite kind of jokes (other than puns) is a joke he’s the butt of. (I ended with a preposition; whoops.) Part of it is that we both like to get to the punchline before someone else can and make the joke ourselves. Part of it is that we both try hard to be modest, and self-deprecating humor balances out the fact that we both brag about our professional accomplishments way more than we should.

However, in my case at least, the jokes come with a healthy dose of self-acceptance and self-love. If I can joke about something publicly— from my driving record to my lack of knowledge of science to the totally nerdy/dorky things that fall out of my mouth every day— it means that I’ve accepted it and embraced it as part of who I am. This is why I don’t freak out about statuses like the ones shown— it’s the same sort of snarky, sarcastic, friendly ribbing that my best friends give to and receive from me. We all poke fun at each other, but in a loving way. It’s good-natured, funny, and an amusing way of showing love.

I think the problem is when my self-deprecation veers from droll, laughing-with-you comments into flat-out mean critiques. For instance, I love the part of me that says something and immediately goes, “Brilliant. Really. And you want to work with words for a living?”— because I know that I believe in my writing skills and the joke is just a joke. But the part of me that goes, “Either lose weight or buy new pants, because I can’t look at this in the mirror anymore”… is not kidding and is just being cruel.

Basically, it’s the line between a friend who kids around with you and a friend who actually insults you. It can be a hard line to distinguish, and some jokes meant with love can come across as total slams. However, I need to work on telling where that line is for me and sticking to jokes that are on the “self-acceptance/friendly-pokes” side of it. I am definitely going to try hard to cut out the insults and the negative self-talk.

Thanks, Em! <3

A brief-ish survey (more actual posts tomorrow morning)

forte-online — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 01:29:59 -0500

1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
Any? So long as you have eyes.
2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
Oh, Jesus. All. Especially with some peppermint up in thurr. Or some cinnamon.
3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
A LION. Huge and orange-and-yellow and proud.
4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
I maintain that Omaha is a big city. Suck it, Chicago.
5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
My teachers. I was always a teacher's pet/super-nerdy-teacher-fangirl.
6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
Strawberry banana. Only because mango is more for mornings.
7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
That time I got locked in the bathroom and couldn't get out.
8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
Let's talk about what I wore to school every day. No, wait, let's not do that.
9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
Two words: Honesty emails.
10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
Pirates. They have their own language.
11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
I wish!
12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
Yes on both counts.
13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
Penguins. Always penguins.
14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
I'm in love with my ankles.
15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
I'm quirky as fuck and I love it.
16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
GAGA! #LittleMonster
17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
Every year! By "watched," you mean "rated the commercials and ate a bunch of Pizza Rolls," right?
18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
Never been drunk ever, just tipsy.
19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
Chocolate raspberry cake.
20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
Margarine. It's healthier, right?
21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
Soy.
22: Which continents have you been on?
Europe and North America.
23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
Yes; No.
24: Backpacks or satchels?
The hell is a satchel? I prefer giant canvas purses with political-statement buttons.
25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
YES; maybe?; nope.
26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
Doug. Or Arthur.
27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
A cow. I would ride it to school.
28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Omaha. Durr.
29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
London to Chicago.
30: The latest you've ever slept?
1 in the afternoon.
31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
Absolutely not. I have SOME standards, y'know.
32: Do you pick at scabs?
Shut up, Mom!
33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
All beans are gross. Except coffee beans. Mmmmm.
34: How far can you throw a baseball?
Far enough to hit your mom.
35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
England. London is amaaaaazing.
36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
No on all counts, but I do love Thai food.
37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
As someone who goes to a liberal arts school-- I pick that one. I LOVE my college.
38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
Always love. Always.
39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
No. They are gross.
40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
No; Yes. (Hitchcock every day, "Saw" never.)
41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
Gross! No.
42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
Only in dire circumstances.
43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
A journalist.
44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
Auburn.
45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
Maybe; gross.
46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
HA! Thanks, question. I'll get on that.
47: City or nature person?
Both? I LOVE access to movies/shopping/theatre/art/music, but I've always wanted a cabin in a forest by a stream.
48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
I used a dandelion to make yellow eyeshadow once.
49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
No. Frickin. Way.
50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY.
A) I have written over 50 newspaper articles in my life for four different papers.
B) I have a column online (Facebook.com/Forte.Online).
C) I wrote a play! I am currently working on its third draft and love my characters more every day.
D) I have gone a year and a half without getting in a car accident.
E) I still have ten toes and ten fingers. This is an accomplishment for me.

Hey there I read your tumbler...you look cool...post more about this 'dirty chaise'... P.S. french 'chaise' is spelled with an E. ;-)

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 20:01:41 -0500

Oh, gosh, thanks! :) But I was meaning “chais”… as in, the plural of “chai.” :) A “dirty chai” is a chai latte with espresso. All the deliciousness of chai with all the energy of espresso… match made in heaven. :) (I also recommend getting soy milk instead of dairy milk in it… and maybe some cinnamon or nutmeg on top. :D)

3.22.12: Sugar

forte-online — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 02:25:43 -0500

For the last month or so, I’ve been at home. I had to emergency-leave college due to gallbladder surgery, and I’ve been on enforced dietary and activity restrictions that made it impossible to go back as yet. However, one thing that is definitely allowed for me to eat (even though I shouldn’t) is sugar… and that is an issue.

I’d been doing much better about eating healthy and hitting the gym… and then I had surgery and wasn’t allowed to work out for a month, while simultaneously being in an environment with free and unlimited access to soda and desserts.

My family has always done the basic formula for lunch and dinner: meat, bread, vegetable, fruit, dessert. Which means I have cookies/brownies/cake/candy twice a day as part of my meal… and then I have an afternoon Pepsi… and probably at least one foofy coffee drink full of sugar…

I needed to see if I could go without all this unnecessary sugar for just one day. If it worked, I could scale back in the future, knowing I didn’t need it all.

I did well at rejecting actual desserts, even though I ate at one of my favorite restaurants tonight and had the option of getting brownies, cookie bars, pie, muffins…

However, the call of the Mocha was too much to resist. I had two— one homemade, with hot cocoa, and one from a coffee place.

I need to start drinking my coffee black more often. I LOVE the taste of regular coffee, no cream or sugar. I just also love vanilla lattes… mochas… caramel frappuccinos… dirty chais… cinnamon dolce…

New vow: Sugar in my coffee OR sugary desserts. Only one per day. It’s not the whole thing, but it’s something.

3.21.12: Music

forte-online — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 02:10:18 -0500

Music has been a huge part of my life since forever. I took piano lessons for five years, sang in middle school and high school choir, and started singing in department store dressing rooms (much to my mother’s chagrin) when I was about six. I remain under the impression that music producers just wander around Target stores, hoping to hear someone trying on pants and singing simultaneously. (This *is* how Adele got discovered, right?) So giving up music for a day was going to be a challenge to say the least.

It turned out to be impossible.

For one thing, music is so much a part of me that I found myself humming, whistling or singing at least once an hour— and creating music definitely does not fit under giving up music.

Even if I’d been able to keep quiet, though, I wouldn’t have been able to give up music for the whole day, if only because music is omnipresent. Watching TV means hearing pop music in the background of commercials; getting in a friend’s car to go shopping means hearing the radio as “driving music;” going shopping means hearing the store’s in-store music blasting.

Music is everywhere.

If nothing else, that’s a pretty cool lesson.

Going to bed pondering the universality of music and the effectiveness of using upbeat tunes to increase the consumerism drive. ;)

Loves,